Mubarak Resigns

After nearly 30 years of autocratic rule, President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt resigned his post and turned over all powes to a council of military leaders on Friday.

Vice President and longtime intelligence chief Omar Sulieman announced after evening prayers and after watching last night’s episode of 30 Rock with Mr. Mubarak and a small contingent of visiting American tourists whose hotel rooms didn’t have cable due to the recent media crackdown that Mubarak was finally stepping down.

On state run tv VP Sulieman stated with crocidle tears in his eyes, “Taking into consideration the troubling circumstances that the country is going through President Mubarak has come to the difficult decision to relinquish his post as despotic ruler. President Murbarak sympathises with his fellow countrymen who only make $2 a day in wages that barely puts a simple meal on their table while he has over three decades illegally appropriated over $12 billion dollars in assets, making him one of the world’s wealthiest individual. However, he can also equally empathize with the unpredicatble yet hilarious Tracy Jordan in last night’s laugh-filled episode where finding himself burdened by the great demands of authority Tracy is finally forced to let go and simplify his life. Therefore, as of tonight President Mubarak has tasked the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces to manage the state’s affairs. We look forward to a peaceful transition and more laughable verbal repatee in the near future between Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy.”

He also reminded people to ” . . . please forward all future letters, correspondence and death threats to Mr. Mubarak’s plush mansion just outside Cairo and no longer to the Presidential Palace.”

You may also like...