Jagoff of the Week: Rahm Emanuel

Jagoff of the Week: Rahm Emanuel

by Jerry Boyle

A child of White Flight, the vertically-challenged Rahm Emanuel spent his formative years in Wilmette, suckling on the elitism and racism of the North Shore. After a brief flirtation with the arts (hence, “Tiny Dancer”), Rahm chose power.  A master of money politics, he specialized in selling the soul of the Democratic Party to Wall Street.


After a stint as White House Chief of Staff, his principal responsibility being to convince President Obama to betray every campaign promise he ever made, he coveted Obama’s job.  But with no executive experience, and the public image of a Walking Personality Disorder, he had to remake himself. So he parachuted into Chicago and purchased the Office of Mayor.


He planned to piss us off, abusing the base being the path to success for Democratic politicians.  Rahm is White Flight’s Revenge, withdrawing resources from African Americans to promote ethnic cleansing, busting unions, selling public assets to Wall Street cronies, all the while keeping a public lid on his explosive temper.  It’s not enough for Rahm to be the Biggest Jagoff in Chicago.  He wants to be the Biggest Jagoff on the planet.  He wants to be President, and he’ll destroy Chicago to do it.


This originally ran in our special Lumpen Field Guide to Chicago Jagoffs.

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